雅思写作之-十大“见官死”开头(页 1) - 澳大利亚雅思 - 雅思写作 -
2007-5-5 19:53
cw
雅思写作之-十大“见官死”开头
“见官死”开头之一：废话连篇不知所云(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例： Topic 1－Should college students be allowed to get married?
； This topic is very interesting. I’m very interested in talking about this topic. Because I’m also a college student and I’m not married……
修改方案：开门见山 直奔主题
In my opinion, it would not be a wise decision to allow college students to get married.
Topic 2－Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or the writing word as the sole source of information? (雅思真题)
； Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in our daily life.
Topic 3－The importance of environmental protection
； Oh, this topic is surely very important. Isn’t it? Of course! It’s really very very important!
；
“见官死”开头之二：中式英文 人见人晕(喷血指数：☆☆☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic 1－The happiest moment in your life
； In our life, there are always some moments which make your heart flower opened angrily……
Topic 2－ The population problem
； The population problem is a very big problem. For example, in the city centers of Shanghai, we can always see people mountain people sea there.
Topic3－ Is there fairness in today’s business world?
； I think in today’s society, there is no fairness in the business world. For example, I always chopped when I go out buy things……
Topic 4－ The advantage of being a nice person
； Being a nice person have many advantage. I believe if a people always do bad things, he will get “baoying”.
；
“见官死”开头之三：观点模糊 态度暧昧(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例： Topic－Should college students be allowed to get married?
； I think this topic is very hard to say. Because I am still very little, only 17, and not married, so this topic is very difficult for me……
；
“见官死”开头之四：偏离主题 无轨电车(喷血指数：☆☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－It is said that nowadays one can not acquire the qualifications and quality essential to success through university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? (雅思真题)
； I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To have these important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English, music tools, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in all, we can learn from many places.
；
“见官死”开头之五：语法错误 惨不忍睹(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－If children behave badly, should their parents accept responsibility and also be punished? (雅思真题)
； About this problem, my think is if children behave badly, then parents are not right. Because teach child is parent’s responsibility. So we also punish parents too besides children is also should.
；
“见官死”开头之六：过分简单 没有重点(喷血指数：☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－The importance of environmental protection
； This issue is surely very important, let’s talk about it!
；
“见官死”开头之七：用词不当 表达不准 (喷血指数：☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－Should college students be allowed to get married?
； I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we can’t take the responsibility to form a family.
；
“见官死”开头之八：意思重复 原地踏步(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－Your opinion on DINK families
； My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society.
；
“见官死”开头之九：中国俗语 胡乱翻译(喷血指数：☆☆☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic 1－Is it good to have a large family?
； I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”……
正确说法：Happiness lies in having many children
Topic 2 －Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?
； We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, don’t know is don’t know”……
Topic 3－ Do you think one’s character is greatly influenced by his/her family?
； Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rat’s son can make hole……
Topic 4－ The advantage of being a nice person
； I believe one sentence:“A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”.
；
“见官死”开头之十： 观点武断 态度强硬 (喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic1－The importance of confidence
In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All the successful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people who don’t have confidence, they all have failed.
Topic 2 － The solution to the traffic problem
； I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who don’t obey the traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, I’m sure there will be no traffic problem any more.
“见官死”开头之一：废话连篇不知所云(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例： Topic 1－Should college students be allowed to get married?
； This topic is very interesting. I’m very interested in talking about this topic. Because I’m also a college student and I’m not married……
修改方案：开门见山 直奔主题
In my opinion, it would not be a wise decision to allow college students to get married.
Topic 2－Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or the writing word as the sole source of information? (雅思真题)
； Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in our daily life.
Topic 3－The importance of environmental protection
； Oh, this topic is surely very important. Isn’t it? Of course! It’s really very very important!
；
“见官死”开头之二：中式英文 人见人晕(喷血指数：☆☆☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic 1－The happiest moment in your life
； In our life, there are always some moments which make your heart flower opened angrily……
Topic 2－ The population problem
； The population problem is a very big problem. For example, in the city centers of Shanghai, we can always see people mountain people sea there.
Topic3－ Is there fairness in today’s business world?
； I think in today’s society, there is no fairness in the business world. For example, I always chopped when I go out buy things……
Topic 4－ The advantage of being a nice person
； Being a nice person have many advantage. I believe if a people always do bad things, he will get “baoying”.
；
“见官死”开头之三：观点模糊 态度暧昧(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例： Topic－Should college students be allowed to get married?
； I think this topic is very hard to say. Because I am still very little, only 17, and not married, so this topic is very difficult for me……
；
“见官死”开头之四：偏离主题 无轨电车(喷血指数：☆☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－It is said that nowadays one can not acquire the qualifications and quality essential to success through university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? (雅思真题)
； I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To have these important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English, music tools, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in all, we can learn from many places.
；
“见官死”开头之五：语法错误 惨不忍睹(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－If children behave badly, should their parents accept responsibility and also be punished? (雅思真题)
； About this problem, my think is if children behave badly, then parents are not right. Because teach child is parent’s responsibility. So we also punish parents too besides children is also should.
；
“见官死”开头之六：过分简单 没有重点(喷血指数：☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－The importance of environmental protection
； This issue is surely very important, let’s talk about it!
；
“见官死”开头之七：用词不当 表达不准 (喷血指数：☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－Should college students be allowed to get married?
； I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we can’t take the responsibility to form a family.
；
“见官死”开头之八：意思重复 原地踏步(喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic－Your opinion on DINK families
； My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society.
；
“见官死”开头之九：中国俗语 胡乱翻译(喷血指数：☆☆☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic 1－Is it good to have a large family?
； I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”……
正确说法：Happiness lies in having many children
Topic 2 －Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?
； We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, don’t know is don’t know”……
Topic 3－ Do you think one’s character is greatly influenced by his/her family?
； Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rat’s son can make hole……
Topic 4－ The advantage of being a nice person
； I believe one sentence:“A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”.
；
“见官死”开头之十： 观点武断 态度强硬 (喷血指数：☆☆☆)
；
典型失败案例：Topic1－The importance of confidence
In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All the successful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people who don’t have confidence, they all have failed.
Topic 2 － The solution to the traffic problem
； I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who don’t obey the traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, I’m sure there will be no traffic problem any more.
2007-7-9 08:18
happyping
thanks to share
2007-12-3 05:12
28804142
谢谢
:monkey9 如果能避忌这些问题．那雅斯能得几分呀！
:monkey9 如果能避忌这些问题．那雅斯能得几分呀！
2007-12-9 13:04
will200
Writing高分的Key point还是要说到重点，以及一些重要的相关观点——环保与否，经济影响，人力资源，时间差距等等...
2007-12-21 11:32
bragmaster
:monkey16
funny~ i will pay attention on those mistakes
thanks for share la
funny~ i will pay attention on those mistakes
thanks for share la
2008-3-19 20:52
六太
写作是我的头号天敌啊 :monkey4
2008-7-1 23:35
25833960
感謝分享!
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